Margaret Watkinson

We all want to help young children when they need help. Balancing what a child needs with what they want isn’t always easy. Sometimes we are in a hurry or rushing and just need to get those shoes on! Young kids can accomplish a lot and can spend a good deal of time working through a task, developing persistence and maintaining focus in the face of challenge far longer than you might think! If they give up easily, it may be that the task is overwhelming, far too complicated and out of their skill set. It could also be that grownups, mom/dad/caregivers are quick to get the job completed so that they can move on to the next activity.

I suggest that you look at it this way. Whatever activity a child is engaged in, dressing/undressing/playing/putting things away, getting things out or set up – anything- encourage the child to do whatever part of the task they can. If it’s far too much, and you need them to participate, ask them to sit and watch you do it! Have them give you directions or ask them “what do I do now”? This engages their brain (executive function, expressive and receptive language, focuses attention while body is calm) in the activity. You can control the pace, the breakdown of the task in a way that builds their skills! See the graph below, if the child is participating at one end of the spectrum, the adult should be on the same end of the spectrum (helping less when the child’s participation is hight! etc….)

Child Participation

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Low high

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high low

Adult Participation