Margaret Watkinson

It’s easy to forget how the way routines and conditions that we (parents or parent supporters!) put into place in the present really does impact how smoothly (or less-than-smoothly) events unfold in the future. When things are going swimmingly, it’s so easy to forget how we got there; to take for granted what we did to ‘make it happen’.

I have most recently been working with the sweetest little breath of baby which, as these things go, began as her parents’ desperate attempt to get some sleep after three weeks of overnight sleep deprivation and days filled with very busy and active older sibling/toddler.

Shaping a behavior is the practice of creating the conditions that will nudge a person (of any age!) from what they currently do to a goal behavior. There is a lot of ways to do this, and all are a response to what is currently in the persons repertoire. You might need to pre-teach a skill before you expect them to use it. You might need to make sure a child is well rested, well fed or healthy/not sick, or adjust your expectations. You might need to change the environment- too much noise? Too many distractions/other people? Set up a routine and follow it? It can be anything, but the main objective in any behavior change is to have a goal, and be able to adjust that goal as conditions change.

Our little newborn baby’s (in this case) repertoire, or developmental ability is something that can not be changed, but through understanding the newborn, we can create the conditions that will enable to baby to inch toward the goal. Ah, yes, the goal. Eventually, most parents want their baby to fall and stay asleep independently through out the night. And naps.

To ‘shape’ sleep behavior when a baby is incapable, biologically, to meet the goal, we create the ideal conditions so that the baby can access their abilities and do what they can to sleep.

Environment:

Dark room, completely dark with black out window treatments.

Temperature: not too cool, not to warm. 68-72 degrees (adjust for the type of swaddle you are using)

Swaddle: Swaddle of your choice that will create a firm wrap that hold’s the baby’s arms close to their chest/sides, does not touch the baby’s cheeks or chins, that is changed if the area around the neck get’s damp from formula or breast milk. Swaddle MUST have a looser fit around hips and legs, providing room for baby’s legs to stretch out. Too small or too tight, baby is uncomfortable and will let you know.

Lighting: ONLY red lights (bulbs) should be used during the night during diaper changes and feeding. Red lights work with the brain for sleep and do not signal ‘wake’ up. Any blue or green or other color lights, including from phones, monitors, air conditioner or other devices, cover with black electrical tape.

Noise: Resist talking too much to baby as it stimulates them. Talk all day every day, but during sleep, it’s best to keep to a minimum. Use a white noise machine. There are many on the market, with a variety of types of noise- brown noise, nature noise, music noise etc….you want WHITE NOISE that is continuous.

Feeding: Finally, feeding when baby is hungry is essential! Don’t wait too long, don’t start too early. Hold baby sitting up, don’t fall asleep! Burp as needed, definitely after the first couple of ounces and then change the diaper. This will wake baby enough to finish what they need. Re-swaddle and put baby back in crib/bassinet drowsy, but awake (if you can catch them before falling back to sleep.

Sleep: If they fuss a little, let it go! they are learning an important skill of self soothing. If you stay in the room, you will see that more often than not, their eyes are closed and they are working themselves back to sleep. If they are genuinely having trouble, lay your hand on their chest/belly and apply light pressure, if a little more is needed, jostle a little. Lift off your pressure/hand as baby drifts off.

A word about Melatonin: Newborns do not manufacture the sleep hormone “melatonin”. This is an evolutionary aspect designed for their survival! Melatonin production begins around 12-16 weeks, about when you will see longer stretches of sleep in your little one. If they get plenty of exposure to daylight, that sleep should start occurring at night. By late evening they should be in a sound sleep, which is why I am not in favor of waking to “dream feed”. This is interrupting th3eir natural sleep development. Melatonin production decreases with exposure to light (hence my previous recommendation of BLACK OUT window treatments and red lights only). It also wanes as the night goes on, and as it decreases, early morning waking is a thing. You can teach your little one to go back to sleep, but it will take time and isn’t a result of being hungry or having had too much sleep. It’s also why unwanted sleep associations are introduced by weary parents (taking them into your bed, starting the day at 5 am, giving extra feedings or food? Just resist and understand it’s usually b/c of lower melatonin!

Voila! You have created the perfect sleep shaping environment and baby will hopefully continue to adjust to sleeping well. Of course some babies have difficulties caused by reflux, tongue tie or other issues that may need medical attention of advice. I encourage you to seek that help out while continuing to offer baby the environment that will support the goal of falling and returning to sleep with as little physical support as possible.