Margaret Watkinson

When toddlers bite, it’s important to figure out why they are biting. A bite can be a learned behavior; let’s face it- it get’s immediate attention! However, biting typically appears around 18 months, rarely after age 3 can be attributed a a couple of things going on.

Typically, this is when toddlers become much more particular about their wants and ‘demands’. They want THAT toy, or THAT particular spot at the sand table. Additionally, it could be a sensory seeking behavior. It just plain feels good on the gums! Either way, unless they have been bitten, and it was pointed out, they do not realize the pain the cause and intentionality has little, dare I say nothing, to do with the bite.

First tip: In the moment, look at your toddler in the eye and immediately change their position. For example, if they are standing, firmly sit them down into a sitting position on the floor or ground. This draws their attention away from the event and you can turn your attention the the victim, or your self. Resist giving them attention for the behavior. Asking “why” or showing the bite in the moment to elicit empathy from a toddler is not going to prevent another bite. A firm “NO BITING” and changing of position will do the trick.

Prevention: When you have a child who bites, the priority is to keep others safe. The biter needs to be contained when you can’t have eyes on them (in a safe place, for example a high chair while you use the restroom). Alternatiif thvely, the child needs to be with you like glue. You need to be able to fully attend to prevent a bite from occurring.

Consequence: This term is used for what the behavior does for the child. All behavior is to get something or get away/avoid something. That something can be tangible (a toy, food) or intangible (Social kudos, attention). Younger the child, the more likely that behavior is in response to biological or physical “consequences”.

Physical: Your little one may be looking for sensory input. Try providing sensory input opportunities throughout the day. Oral: let them rip apart bagels with their teeth, resist cutting up apples or other foods that can be bitten into. Suck applesauce or smoothie with a straw. Cold food, sour or sticky foods. Find what they like and make their mouth work for it! Additionally, it can help to provide other sensory activities- swinging, sand, water, playdough play, swimming or baths, you get the idea. Carrying a log or a gallon of milk. Wheelbarrow walking- Take a look at how many ways you can provide opportunities to your little biter to use their body and get sensory input.

Speech and Language: This is a time when your little one has skills that are taking off in one developmental area and treading water in another. This is the very definition of early childhood period that begins at birth and continues until about age 8. Children (most of us!) understand much more than they can share, linguistically speaking. Expressive language lags behind the receptive. Cognitively, these little ones are forming their own ideas, plans and wants. They need help putting these ideas into words and making them happen and left to their own devices, they can be VERY fast and creative about how they will carry out these ideas, wants and needs. We grownups need to be on hand when we see their little minds working and help them learn the language and apply the socially acceptable actions to making their desires happen, negotiating with others on their behalf.

Concerns? If, after a few months the biting hasn’t subsided and you continue to have concerns, reach out to the early childhood early intervention system in your area for an evaluation. These evaluations are completely free of charge for all children. Think of it as an extension of the special education system that our public schools provide.